Chapter Four: The Arcade
- mark-french1
- Aug 26, 2024
- 29 min read

This chapter contains graphic subject mater, reader discretion is advised
Heat shimmered off the blacktop as Helena made her way down the shoulder of the road. She moved her bag, digging her nails into the meat of her back trying to work out a kink. In the distance she could make out buildings and quickened her pace.
When her mom told her she was going on vacation for a couple of weeks, Helena imagined how jealous she would make everyone when they checked their feed and saw her lounging poolside everyday getting an absolutely bomb tan. Instead her dad dragged her to some backwoods shit hole that barely had running water and didn’t know what wifi was, so much for the glow up of the summer.
Tyson shouldn’t be surprised that she left, what else was she supposed to do? Stay trapped in that fleabag cabin? No thanks. She needed freedom with people her own age, which meant finding a signal and face timing Sasha. This was her vacation too. Helena settled her bag on the opposite shoulder checking for any weird tan lines and fished her iPhone out of it. She held it to the sky bringing her hand to her forehead to shade the glare. Still nothing. “Mother fucker!” she cursed, tossing the phone back into the woven shoulder bag.
A rusted out pickup passed her with a sun faded and peeling FU*K Trudeau bumper sticker. Helena let out the breath she’d been holding. She half expected Tyson to roll up any second; screaming and acting extra like he did on the drive up. He’d been a total asshole for the last few years but especially since him and mom separated. It seemed like the older she got the more the two of them fought until one day her mom packed his shit away and left it on the bed when he was on assignment. “Probably had her fill of his bullshit, can’t blame her.” she muttered, kicking a stone across the cracked asphalt before stopping to empty rocks from her crocs for the third time.
Her phone blew up with notifications as she stepped beneath the awning of a strip mall. Relieved, Helena opened her messages app, flipped past the one of Tyson asking where she was, and opened Sasha’s message string.
How’s the vacay? The message sent earlier that morning.
Omg so brutal. It’s giving bed bugs fr Helena typed.
She waited but Sasha didn’t reply. She tried a video call but gave up after a few attempts glitched out. When she checked the service again she was down to two bars. Helena grit her teeth, slapping her hand off her slowly reddening thigh. “Unreal.” she said, exasperated. She stormed past the darkened windows of the strip mall. The only place open was a Quick K convenience with a pale and cracked L.L.B.O sign in the window. Helena stepped into the merciful AC, goosebumps rolling up her legs and back. She strolled through the isles keeping her eyes on the smoke greyed ceiling tiles. She stopped at the magazine rack and pawed through a fishing magazine, sniping a glance at the guy running the counter. He looked like he’d rather be anywhere but where he was standing. After watching her walk by he went back to counting lottery tickets. Beside him a radio blared the time and the top of the hour news started.
Hospital wait times continue to soar as a record number of documented heat stroke cases impede nursing staff. With nothing but clear skies and sun in the forecast, hospital staff are reminding the public to wear head covering and sunscreen when outside for any length of time, and to stay hydrated as much as possible, even if you feel like you aren’t sweating. Climate experts warn that summers are trending hotter as wildfires continue to burn in Calgary, Victoria, and in parts of the Yukon Territory. Local water conditions are fair with the wind blowing from the West at less than ten knots. 103.5 reminds you: water on the water, beer on the pier.
Whatever that meant. The news turned to some goofy sounding song her dad would like that was all guitars and piano. The canned music filled the small convenience store making Helena feel claustrophobic. She flung the magazine amongst the Doomsday Prepper and Gardening mags and looked up again. The clerk was gone. “Score.” she said as she booked it to the back of the store. There were no cameras on the ceiling here either. This was finally starting to feel like a vacation. Helena rounded a corner and was faced with an alleyway of alcohol. Her elation was short lived as she eyed the barren shelves. Dark beers she’d never heard of sat in a cast aside Moosehead flat, and a loose cherry seltzer rolled lazily back and forth between the brandy and peach schnapps. “Why does this only happen to me?” she muttered. “Even the liquor stores here suck.” In spite of her doubt she moved with a practiced urgency to the vodka section and snatched two mickeys without checking the label. She shot a glance at the vacant cash one last time before making them both disappear into her bag. Beside them a dusty bottle of brown liquor sat on a low shelf and she swiped that too, adjusting all of the plunder in her bag under the guise of checking her phone.
She replaced the phone and made her way to the pop coolers. She had enough time to give two 1 litre bottles the same disappearing act before the cashier shuffled back to his post looking like he could puke any second. Helena cursed under her breath. She wished he’d stayed gone for a few more minutes. She needed to come off as not so heat, so she meandered through the isles grabbing a box of granola bars and then filling an extra large cup with lemon slush. She sipped it as she walked to the counter, savoring the flavoured ice as it slid down her throat. The guy rang her up and she tapped her visa, not wanting to risk touching any more than she already had. The guy was giving off serious ick.
She waited until she was back in the heat of the sun before rummaging in her bag to collect one of the mickeys and a Doctor Pepper. It foamed as she dumped half of it in the parking lot, rivers of cream coloured foam ran between her feet heading for the nearest sewer. She replaced the pop with half of the mickey and carefully shook the bottle to mix the thing. She took a few chugs until her throat burned before replacing the cap. If she wasn’t going to get a reel-worthy vacation, she might as well get buzzed. Now she needed to find some fun. She heard wails of glee and exhilaration distantly. She moved toward the sound like a moth to flame. She made her way through a dirt path behind the Quick K. discarded candy wrappers littered the underbrush and she saw the unmistakable blue waterproof fabric of a tarp set back in the woods. The path leveled out and Helena found herself on the edge of a well maintained field, a few outbuildings stood in the distance with picnic tables and a white banner stretched between them.
As she approached, she read the banner welcoming one and all to the Shad Fly Festival. In the grass beyond the banner, picnicking families downed pogos and poutine from a variety of multi coloured food trucks parked in front of tired looking carnival rides. There was even a statue of one of those gross flies that were at the cabin. Looking closely at the banner Helena saw it was dotted with the creepy little things. “You have got to be kidding me.” She said, eyes crawling over the crowd of people trying their best to find a spot to eat that wasn't infested with the namesakes of the festival. She unwrapped one granola bar and ate it slowly.
She inhaled the salty sweet aroma of footlongs and funnel cakes and fought back the urge to indulge. She and Sasha were in competition to lose the most weight. They checked in everyday with their iWatches; and she didn’t need Sasha pulling ahead, plus there was what happened in gym…She took another swig and moved past the food. Those thoughts were not what hot girl summer was all about.
Helena spent the next few hours strolling through the buzzing and thumping base of half empty carnival rides. She popped enough balloons with a handful of dull darts that she won herself a small stuffed penguin with buggy eyes and a red bow tie. She took the thing with her to the House of Haunts and rode through the cheap paper mache castle and crappy jump scares, downing her drink then the track was straight enough to allow her a few gulps. She rode it enough times that the guy with bad acne running the ride let her take a couple turns for free. She threw an extra sway in her hips as she walked the yellowed grass back through the alley of cheap rigged games partly as thanks, but mainly because she knew he was looking.
The afternoon was thick with haze and Helena felt the familiar warmth coursing through her and settling in her chest. She tried Sasha a few more times but didn’t get a reply. “Answer your phone slut!” she shouted a voice message that tapered off into vodka fueled cackles. Helena stumbled to a picnic table and sat down. She shuddered as a chill wracked through her shoulders. She dug through her bag and slipped on the tattered camo jacket she kept balled in the bottom, throwing it off one shoulder despite the cold. She ate two more granola bars as she surveyed the dwindling population of the Shad Fly festival. What, did the place shut down at 4 o’clock? It was dead. She sighed, she should have expected a lackluster party scene from the middle of buttfuck nowhere.
The buzz of a cicada pierced the stillness. Beyond the hulking rides was a small main street. Passed that a lake shimmered blue while golden sunlight danced off it like sparkles. Helena guessed she could try to find a party there, worst case she lights a fire and drinks by herself. Well, almost by herself. She glanced in her bag and met the cartoonish eyes of the stuffed penguin. “Guess it’s just you an me fer now Popper.” She considered the name, the things eyes did seem to be popping out, Helena snorted a laugh. “Why not, why the fuck not.” She blew out her exasperation and put her head in her hands, elbows resting on the picnic table. Her eyes started tracing the words carved into it.
Bobby Badger fucks like a pro.
For a good time call.
Don’t stop believing.
And of course the classic penis, both in name and illustration.
She was halfway through when a voice called her out of her day dream.
“Yo.”
Helena looked up to see a boy in decent looking Nikes and shorts walking over to her. A white T-shirt slipped through a belt loop. The usual resting bitch face she reserved for strangers approaching softened as she realised the guy was around her age, more than that he was kind of hot. She eyed his thin frame, abs, and silver earring catching the sunlight. He stopped as she looked up. “Oh shit, my bad I thought you were someone else.” He turned to go. Helena’s breath caught, she felt panic seize her, locking the air in her lungs before she could reply.
Shit, not now she thought. From behind she took in how well he fit into his board shorts. The chocolate brown picked up his hair and whether intentional or not the whole outfit hit. Finally Helena drew a breath “Yo, hold up!” she blurted trying to sound smart as she talked around the vodka. Board Shorts turned around and she tried the smile that got Mike Peterson to skip English and hang out with her in the back of the library. “Maybe I’m just the person you’re looking for.”
“It’s just you’re looking lonely over here, like you’re waiting for someone, your boyfriend maybe?” Board Shorts licked his lips as a smile blossomed, showing a row of white teeth that blazed around his tan. Helena felt the flush settle in her cheeks as she recognized the play he was making.” She moved over a little on the bench even though there was plenty of space. “I’m not waiting for anyone unless they can show me a better time than this kiddie ride bullshit.”
“Bet.” Board Shorts said and started walking over. Helena smiled, this just got fun.
He sat across from her running his fingers through his hair a couple of times before simply stating. “I’m Ethan.” he pointed to her jacket. “You in the army, Coté?”
She glanced at the name patch sewn onto the breast pocket of the jacket instinctively before meeting his gaze. “Maybe I am, better watch yourself if you act up I’ve got some sick moves.”
"No doubt, no doubt.” Ethan smiled and they both erupted into laughter. Helena’s vodka fueled cackles again, and Ethan’s sounding like a drawn out groan. She drew closer to him and lowered her voice conspicuously “So check it out. I’m looking for some fun, you know anything going on around here?” She opened her bag and brought the neck of the whiskey bottle out. Ethan’s eyes bugged out like Popper’s and Helna had to fight off another case of the giggles.
“Oh shoot Coté you got a whole bag of tricks huh? Hells yeah I know a spot.” He sat back as Helena replaced the bottle and took out his cell phone. Helena thought about asking what his reception was like but that was something her dad would ask. Speak of the devil, her phone vibrated another message from him.
Helena Elaine Coté, answer your phone. I know the messages are being delivered. If I find you before you call me you are going to wish you stayed home, which is exactly where I’m taking you once I find you. CALL ME IMMEDIATELY.
She checked her phone, three missed calls and now two texts. She stared at the word home on her screen. She bit her lip. Now that she was making friends she couldn’t think of going back home, wait until she showed Sasha pictures of Ethan, she would die. Helena decided to play the divorced child card. She started typing
Dad chill. I’m fine. I’m with friends. I’m actually having fun for the first time in a long while, maybe years. I figured you would be happy for me. Am I not allowed to hang out with people my own age? I’m just supposed to shut up in that bug infested cabin and wait for you like a prisoner? I thought this was a vacation.
She watched the screen, waiting. A pin prick headache pounding at her temple. She rubbed her leg with a croc and placed one on top of the other under the picnic table. After a few seconds Tyson responded.
We’ll talk about it when I pick you up. Where are you?
“Yo, you still with me, Coté?” Ethan grinned, his eyes meeting hers over his cell phone.
“Sorry, my dad.” Helena said, dropping her phone back in her bag.
“No worries. The girls will be here soon.” Ethan smiled again and Helena prickled at the mention of other girls, but she kept smiling as she traced her eyes along his arms to his cell phone. While they waited she spun the cap off the second doctor pepper and gave it the same treatment as the one before. Ethan made a face at the offering. “Doctor Pepper? That shit’s disgusting. I’d rather just take a shot.” Helena held the mickey out to him and he followed through sticking his tongue out and shaking his head afterward, his brown hair flopping across his eyes. “ahk.” He grimaced as his eyes welled.
About fifteen minutes later Helena spied a group of girls with a couple of guys mixed in making their way across the park. Ethan made introductions after dabbing up the two other guys; a scrawny blonde in a nirvana T-shirt and a fit enough black kid in a tank top. A skeleton fitted up with beach gear reclined under the words ‘endless vacation’ across it. He just nodded to her when Ethan made the introductions, but the blonde in the T dabbed her up and went in for a hug that Helena awkwardly returned. She shot a glance at Ethan who was eyeing the blonde, who introduced himself as Brandon.
“Sup Coté? Love the drip.” Brandon said as his eyes crawled from her crocs to her tank top. Helena folded her jacket closed and crossed her arms in front of her while she looked at Ethan softly. She turned back towards Brandon and smiled thinly “ah- thanks, Kurt Cobain is pretty dope.” she offered.
“No doubt.” Brandon agreed
“Name three Nirvana songs, B.” Tank Top grinned as everyone took a spot around the table.
“Fuck off Aaron.” Brandon threw his hat at Aaron who watched it fly harmlessly past him.
“Oh my god Brandon, can you act like an adult for five seconds?” One of the girls butt in. She had positioned herself directly in front of Helena, who she now regarded. “You got a first name, Coté?” she asked not unkindly “or is it just one word, like Lizzo?”
“She don’t look like Lizzo to me.” Brandon called from the picnic table where his hat lay. The girl in front of Helena ignored this. Helena straightened up in her seat. “Lena” she said.
“Amanda.” the girl answered. She pointed to the other three girls and introduced Ashley, Heidi, and Hallie. With that done she looked back at Helena letting a moment stretch.
Eyeing up the competition. Helena’s thoughts whispered. She glanced at Ethan but he was in the middle of a heated discussion with Aaron.
“So, Lena.” Amanda started. “Ethan thinks you’ve got something we’ve apparently got to see.” Helena nodded giving the group the same reveal Ethan was subject to earlier. Brandon whooped and Aaron grinned, collapsing into Ethan and dabbing him up again. Heidi wrinkled her nose and Helena heard her mutter “whiskey, gross.”
“How’d you come across that?” Amanda asked.
“Let’s just say it followed me out of the store.”
“Which store?”
Helena turned on the bench seat, craning her neck to see beyond the ferris wheel. She pointed. “There’s a Quick K back there, I swiped it from there along with the vodka.”
“Right out from under Beeker’s nose? Nice that guy’s an asshole.” Brandon chimed in. Helena hoped he wouldn’t stick around, he was making her headache worse.
“So what, you just stole it? Wasn’t he like, watching you or anything?” Amanda pressed.
“He left the cash, he seemed hungover or sick or something.” that stopped Aaron in the middle of a text.
“Sick? Sick how?”
“I don’t know.” Helena shifted her eyes to the side and exhaled a laugh sharply through her nose. “Sick. Like, gross sick, exorcist upchuck sick.”
“See man I told you!” Aaron shoved Brandon who had joined the end of the table, flat brim replaced at a precise tilt on his head. “More and more people are turning up. Did you hear the hospital is backed up because of ‘heat stroke.’ Man, that’s bullshit, how long does heat stroke last? A couple of hours, a day at the most, but these people are getting fluids, they should be sent home.”
“Bruh.” Ethan said “You’re really going to hit us with the conspiracy shit again? Sheesh.”
Aaron held up his phone as if it were proof “I.T.S was right about Covid, and I’m telling you it’s right about this. Do your research man.” Ethan caught Helena’s furrowed brow and shook his head. “In The Shadows. It’s a podcast this guy’s obsessed with, calls us all sheep just because we don’t listen to it.”
“You are sheep. You’ll see.” Aaron said, going back to his phone.
“A few of the episodes are interesting.” Hallie offered
“Baaah.” Brandon mimicked, getting a decent laugh from the group. “Listen. Why are we talking about A’s obsession with anal probing aliens and bigfoot when we could be at The Arcade getting in on that Seagrams?'' This was met by an accent of agreement from the group and everyone stood to leave the table. Helena fell in step beside Ethan and Ashley who started chatting her up about her highlights.
The group led Helena down the beach. As the shadow of the pier fell over her, Helena shivered as the shade cooled her sunburn. They climbed through the criss-crossing timbers of the dock above, passing discarded beer cans and sun-yellowed food wrappers caught in the never ending roll of surf. Through the supports a well beaten trail led to the forest bordering the beach. They had to walk a single file along a pathway as the overgrowth pressed in on either side.
Helena walked through a cobweb and clenched her molars against each other to keep from crying out. Ahead Brandon nattered non-stop with Aaron while the girls kept mostly mute. Helena’s gaze lingered on Ethan. Remembering how his body looked before he put his shirt back on sent another shiver through her.
They came to a break in the overgrowth. A patch of woods someone, or some people, had worked hard to clear while making it seem like it was over grown. A mud speckled shed of green corrugated metal stood surrounded by lumbering oaks and sap dripping pines. A steel can stood in front of it with various bits of trash and charred scraps of wood sticking out. Inside the place was dim and smelled damp. A faded fish identification chart was on one wall, and a singed and peeling lure ad was tacked to the one opposite. Both looked ancient, like something out of the nineties.
Helena watched three mice hurry after each other and vanish into various cracks in the floor. She almost gagged. Were they kidding? This was the place to party? The place made her skin crawl, but she saw Ethan getting comfortable on one of the ratty couches, and her resolve hardened. She saw a wooden table in the back with a collection of candles, their wax melted in rivers that pooled at the base and cemented them to the middle of it.
At the far wall a bank of arcade cabinets sat collecting dust, their screens smashed and buttons stuck. “Woah” Helena took a step forward.Along the side of the cabinets the original artwork fought decades of grime and dust to stay visible. There was a guy who looked like mario climbing a ladder that faced a scowling gorilla. On the next one a yellow character in heels with a pink bow in her hair and hoochie make up stared back at Helena. Finally, a midnight black cabinet with a single word piercing it like a neon sign simply read ‘Joust.’
“Don’t bother.” Ethan broke her stare. “None of them work.” he said, picking at cat damage ripped along the arm of the couch. He grinned at her and tapped the seat beside him. Ashley swooped in before Helena could fill it and she narrowed her eyes at the way the broken springs bowed the two together, their legs touching. Ashley laughed and started chatting him up while the others moved through the shed. Aaron and Brandon brought the wooden table out from the wall while Amanda and the others set about lighting candles around the shed. Within minutes the whole place had orange candlelight making shadows dance along the wall. The scented ones all mixed together but the smell seemed to cover the worst of the must. Helena kept herself from looking at the ceiling at the collection of spiderwebs gathered. She sat at one of the stools of the arcade cabinet closest to the couch and took the bottle from her bag, snapping off the cap and taking a generous swig before passing it to Ethan. Brandon and Aaron were setting up red solo cups for a game of beer pong, and the girls were bringing chairs over to the small coffee table in front of the couch.
“You forgot to light the most important candles.” Brandon said as he produced a crumpled joint from his jeans pocket. He sparked it up and took a few tokes before passing it to Aaron, his eyelids heavy.
When it came to her Helena waved it off. “More for you guys. If I mix it’s lights out.”
“Damn Coté, you’re the gift that keeps on giving.” Brandon smiled at her through the smoke. Despite him being a total spaz, Helena smiled back. The guy kind of grew on you, after a while.
“I totally get that.” Ashley said, passing the joint along without taking a hit. “It just makes me sleepy.
“You just haven’t found the right strain.” Brandon said. This sparked a debate of indica versus sativa and Helena checked out from the conversation, unable to add anything. After a while someone connected to a bluetooth speaker and before long Helena was nodding to the beat of a song she’d never heard before trying not to laugh at Ms. Pac Man who she kept catching staring at her. She caught herself jolting back to reality as her phone violently vibrated in her bag. She checked it quickly to see Tyson Cote - Cell scroll across the screen, a picture of her father smiling a tight smile in the background. She sent the call to voicemail and after a few moments saw the tally rise. She was now at 3 messages, 2 missed calls, and 2 voicemails. Helena Shut her eyes. Tyson would flip out if she didn’t answer him soon. Helena sighed and fired off a quick text
I’m o.k. With friends. Pls stop calling.
She locked her phone and tapped airplane mode hoping that would help but knowing it wouldn’t. She was going to have to call Tyson before the night was over. She took a swig to wash the thought away.
Within hours the arcade was filled with bodies. Helena lost count of the people as they moved in and out and the darkness. Beyond the single window was a blazing orange flicker as the contents of the steel can were lit on fire. More friends of the group showed up and brought various bottles of beer and liquor swiped from inattentive parents, or bought with fake IDs. Helena’s initial repulsion with The Arcade was fading as the level of her drink got lower, a slow smile spreading beneath her blazing red cheeks. A game of beer pong was going strong, and Helena was trying to get Ethan’s attention away from Ashley who, despite her earlier protest, let Ethan shotgun a toke from the joint into her mouth. After that she was all over him, touchin his arm, laughing too much at shit that wasn’t funny, and giving him the fuck me eyes that Helena couldn’t stand. She felt a tug of jealousy, the feeling was ancient and familiar, one she had felt growing inside of her since her parents started arguing more than talking. Her jealousy grew as both of them retreated into their own worlds and devoted attention away from being a family, away from her. Four years was a long time to wonder if it was her fault, and by now she basically confirmed it was. Why else would they have been so solid, so…good before she was born? Because once you came along they had less time for each other. You stole them away from each other and they resent you for it. The thought was familiar. She took a swig from her Doctor Pepper. Helena wanted to stop the feeling of jealousy stabbing into her stomach, she wanted to occupy herself, but most of all she wanted to see Ethan without his shirt on again. And she wasn’t going to lose out to some pudgy country girl with cheap highlights.
Helena slid off her stool and walked a lap of the small structure on shaky legs. She tried her best to stay invisible, declining Brandon’s invite to be on his beer pong team. She found a deck of sticky, dog-eared playing cards on a makeshift shelf screwed into the wall where the table had been, and an old wine bottle rolling lazily in one corner. She shook the cigarette butts and earwigs from the bottle and brought both items to the small coffee table in front of Ethan and Ashley. Ashley now sat with her legs slung over Ethan’s and was hanging off his every word, a can of White Claw in her hand. Helena put the wine bottle down hard enough to break the attention between them and put the deck of cards down beside it. “How about a game of thumbmaster?” she said, mostly to Ethan. He scooted to the edge of the couch, Bending Ashley’s converse awkwardly to the ceiling before she retracted her legs and playfully pinched him. “Ouch, you asshole, you could have brog my angkles” she slurred before giggling and taking a long drag from the white claw. When she lowered the can she looked at the game Helena was laying out as if for the first time“I love this game.” she beamed.
Let’s hope so. Helena thought as she spread the cards face down at the base of the wine bottle.
She didn’t know how much time had passed. Long enough for her second doctor Pepper bottle to become an ashtray and for her to be chasing the bottom of the Seagrams. Helena was pretty sure she was winning. Across from her, Ashley had developed a splotchy flush and three empty cans of black cherry White Claw rolled lazily at her feet. The fourth one was gripped in her hand but listed at enough of an angle that any further would result in a spill. Amanda had taken the seat next to her and drew a six. “Six for chicks” she exclaimed and all the girls brought their drinks in before taking a drink. Helena was next. She considered the cards while the beer pong table erupted into gleeful shouts of victory. The smell of wood burning and cigar smoke wafted in from the window on a cool breeze. Her eyes crawled lazily around the shed and she locked eyes with Ms. Pac Man.
Give me some luck here, boots She thought. She drew a card and smiled, it was a five. She balanced it underneath the rest of the drawn cards on the mouth of the wine bottle and then pretended to consider the group. Tapping her chin for effect. “Hmm, well one for Ethan. One for me.” she took a sip from the Seegram’s. “And three for Ashley.” Across from her AShley hung her head as the crowd egged her on. “You’re killin’me girl.” She looked at Helena through mail slit eyes before tipping the can back and finishing it. “Wherestherestofmydrinks?” she asked, her head lolling from side to side as she searched her immediate area after dropping the empty can. Amanda handed her one from the pack they shared but offered a warning. “There’s only like four left, maybe you should sit a few rounds out.”
“m’not even fuggen drunk, Mandy.” Ashley said with a laugh. Amanda looked at Helena, her expression like ice. She tipped her head at Ashley and raised her eyebrows. Helena nodded in what she hoped conveyed sympathetic understanding.
She drew an ace. Not the worst, definitely not as obvious of a give away for what she was trying to do. “Waterfalls” she smirked and tipped the whiskey bottle by the neck to her lips. Each person after her in turn brought their drink up, waiting for Helena to break. Helena kept an eye on Ashley as she started drinking. She watched Ashley’s can tip further and further toward the ceiling before she couldn’t take any more of the whiskey bite. Helena stopped, grimacing and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. All of the party goers around the circle let out groans and a couple people stood and stumbled to see what other games they could get into. Amanda opened a fresh white claw, but the spirit of the game seemed to dissipate. Ethan was talking to Ashley but she didn’t seem to register what he was saying. Her eyes were heavy and focused on a spot just above the arcade cabinets. Her hair spilled out around her sweat glistening face in a nest of wild strands. Helena watched as she hung her head and focused on the mash of hearts, spades, clubs, and diamonds in front of her, first squinting and then opening her eyes wide before finally shutting them for a moment. They hadn’t been closed long before she snapped them open and stood up quickly. “Aw fuck.” Amanda cursed as she stood up to help her friend. She grabbed Ashley under the elbow and rested her other hand in the small of her back, guiding her through the throng of bodies toward the door. Both of them hustled out of the doorway and into the night, leaving Helena and Ethan alone. Helena moved to the couch and pretended to stretch out a kink in her back, raising her arms above her head so her tank top hugged her chest. She passed him what was left of the whiskey. “You look thirsty.” she said. He took a few swallows, grimacing.
“Stuffs nasty, I give you props for committing to it, here.” he handed her a bottle of Miller “ guess you won the game.”
“Is this my prize?” she asked.
“Yeah.” Ethan laughed “congratulations.”
Helena leaned close then, her lips barely brushing his ear. “I was hoping my prize would be something a little…bigger.” When she drew back Ethan was smiling through flushed cheeks. She smiled back and kept her eyes locked on him as she brought the bottle to her mouth. When she was done Ethan leaned to her. “I know a spot.”
“Bet.” she said.
Peepers and bullfrogs performed their usual symphony of the summer. Helena stood, her arms wrapped around her body trying to stay warm in the sudden stillness of the summer night. Ethan had led her through the party, passed the rank smelling fire barrel to behind the Arcade where he now struggled with a rusted shut door. With a bang he wrenched it open and the hinges wailed into the night. A few of the fire dwellers whooped at the telltale wail of someone about to get busy. In the silence that followed Helena heard a dog barking. She shivered as she walked past Ethan and he put an arm around her, guiding her into the darkness beyond the doorway. He barely had his cell phone flashlight on before she felt his hands on her. He ran them up and down her body before settling his lips on her neck. Helena gasped and watched dust float through the beam of his Iphone light. He fumbled with her jean shorts so she unbuttoned them, enjoying how his hand slid effortlessly beneath them and into her thong beneath. She undid his shorts and they fell to his ankles. Helena put her hands on him and before long both of them were breathing heavily into each other, stirring the dust motes into swirls through the light.
Helena worked Ethan up until he was on the edge. She put him back into his boxer shorts and stepped away. “What’s up?” he breathed.
“I’m a careful girl.” she said, rooting through her bag until she found a condom box. She shook one out and held it out to Ethan, the light making the wrapper an eerie green. Ethan snorted a laugh. “Come on, you’re joking. What, you think I’ve got AIDS or something?”
“I can’t afford to get pregnant.”
“I’ll get plan B”
“I don’t want to risk it.”
“Aren't you on the pill?”
“Allergic.”
“Bullshit.” Ethan laughed. “I’ve never heard of that.”
Helena walked back over to him, her long legs settling between his, her thong against his boxer shorts. “You’ll still get what you want.” she breathed taking him in her hand again. “It’s just a little safer this way. The pressure’s off, you don’t have to spend any time wondering if you’re a dad or not, ” She went to kiss him but he pulled back. Helena felt a flush work up her neck, one that had nothing to do with how much she had to drink.
“You don’t need that, my pull out game is on point.” He said, trying to be tact.
Helena didn’t move. Ethan put his arms around her “ Come on, why don’t we just put it in a little and see how it feels? I promise nothing unsafe will happen.”
Helena tore open the condom wrapper. “Here, I’ll even slide it on for you.” Ethan pushed her hands down and took a step toward her. He slid her thong down and pressed himself against her pubis. She felt a searching pressure. “Woah.” Helena said, her stomach flipped. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go down.
“Come on.” Ethan said. “You’re giving me blue balls here, don’t be a cock tease.” He took another step forward driving her back. Helena felt the cold steel of the wall bite into her bare back. The cold sliced through her causing her nipples to harden. Suddenly she felt too exposed,
“See.” Ethan said, his eyes on her chest. “I knew you liked it a little rough.” She felt him again, this time pressing firmer into her, almost entering her.
“Stop.” The word was out of Helena’s mouth before she could think. It was a dull, lifeless syllable that escaped from her desire and evaporated into the cooling air between them.
Ethan took another step.
She pushed him then, hard. Sending him off balance and into the opposite wall hard enough to shake the shed. Distantly she heard the party goers hoot and bang bottles together. She snatched her bag off the floor in an instant, her hand exploring the bottom most corners before settling on a curved wooden handle. She had the knife out in a flash, sliding it from its sheath and brandishing the steel at Ethan. In the white light of the Iphone it looked silver, like a glint of mercury in a sea of darkness.
“Don’t come any closer, don’t you fucking touch me.” she hissed. Ethan stood stock still against the far wall, his eyes hooded and swimming with feral aggression.
“Get your shit and get the fuck out of here, whore. I don’t know why I bothered with you in the first place, goofy bitch.”
Helena didn’t stay for the rest of what he had to say. She was back in her shorts and out the door. She zipped up the coat as she ran, the knife clutched at her side. She shouldered passed the stoners standing around the can fire, her face hot even after passing through the heat wave. A few of the party goers made some cracks about Ethan being finished already but they didn’t register past her heartbeat that was thundering in her ears.
Helena didn’t risk turning on her flashlight until she reached the web work of timber, and even then she stopped every few feet to make sure Ethan wasn’t coming after her. She threaded her way as quickly as she could, but in the darkness a splinter still snagged her jacket, stopping her short. Helena cried out, yanking her jacket for all she had before taking a breath and working the fabric out of the wood. She wiped tears away as she moved on. The pier was less of a sight and more of a presence looming over her as she passed beneath it. Darkness on darkness. It hovered over her like an abyss and seemed to regard her with a frosty indifference as she passed beneath it. She stepped out from under it and was met by a blanket of stars above. Helena gasped, finally aware she had been holding her breath. Constellations she hadn’t seen since childhood winked at her, and without warning started to spin. She stumbled and went down on a knee in the surf. Stumbling to her feet and getting her bearings as best as she could. The surf wrenched a croc from her foot and threatened to carry it away until she snapped it from the churning surge and side stepped towards the park carrying it.
The midway was a blazing kaleidoscope of neon and noise. As Helena stumbled through the flashing lights and house music, the screams of those on the rides mirrored her inner thoughts. She checked her phone again and saw she’d missed two more calls. She took it off of airplane mode and searched Tyson’s contact card, stabbing the green phone icon with her finger as she did. Helena brought the phone to her ear but as soon as she did she broke into sobs and couldn't keep the phone steady. She ended the call before it could complete. She didn’t want her dad to hear her like this, she could figure this out herself. “A few minutes, I just need a couple minutes to figure shit out.” she told herself as she lurched through the fair grounds.
She retraced her steps back to the strip mall. In the buzzing light of the storefront she saw a pool of ants writhing through her drying pool of Doctor Pepper. a lone car made it’s way through the parking lot Helena heard the ground crunching and popping as it drove two twin tire tracks through what looked like brown fuzz. Helena squinted and then felt her stomach lurch. She shook her head, trying to clear the image, but it had burrowed its way into her brain. This was a fucking nightmare. She looked again, unable to believe that there could be that many shad flies in the city let alone one parking lot. The popping continued as the car exited to the main road and picked up speed. Helena’s stomach lurched again and she finally broke. Hot black fizz followed by burning brown whiskey, and a mash of granola rocketed out of her mouth. She doubled over and wretched again. The concrete invaded her vision with lightning speed but she braced herself with one hand, feeling the grit and pebbles dig into her palm.
The nausea passed in a hot thick wave and she just wanted to close her eyes.
You go down here, it’s game over missy. She thought. She spit a few more times trying to get the hot acidic taste out of her mouth before giving up and climbing back to her feet. She slipped her Crocs back on and focused on getting one foot in front of the other.
She worried every car that drove by would be them. She didn’t dare thumb a ride. In fact, each set of headlights made Helena retreat a little further into the bush line. By the third car her nerves were shot. She didn’t know she was crying again until she sucked back a sniffle and wiped her hand across her nose. It came back wet with snot and tears. Helena felt the shakes roll through her, the night almost unbearably cold. She stood trembling on the side of the road, took out her phone, and stabbed the ‘call back’ option beneath the latest notification of a missed call from Tyson Coté. It started ringing as a new set of halogen lights illuminated her on the side of the road. Piercing white that reminded her of Ethan’s Iphone light. She started shaking harder as sobs wracked through her. Tears continued their onslaught on her make up. The vehicle drew closer and started to slow.
“Oh Jesus daddy pick up.” she said into the phone as the other line rang.
She heard tires crunching gravel and moved further into the woods. “Come on come on come on” she repeated like a mantra. By now she had taken poor refuge in a thinning raspberry bust and saw movement just beyond it as the vehicle slowed. She heard the engine gear down, a door opened. The small brush she was huddled in was suddenly lit up by the dim interior dome light of the vehicle. From within she could hear a ringtone booming through the radio speakers, a bluetooth connection. She recognized the song from the convenience store radio and her inebriated brain made a fuzzy connection.
She heard Tyson call out.
“Get. Your. Ass. In. This Truck. NOW.” he boomed. Helena sprang from the bushes, stumbled, and climbed into the cab. She slammed the door and put her head against the glass.
Tyson put the truck in gear and signaled his merge back onto the road. His tires threw gravel and the engine screamed as the RPM needle climbed. Helena shut her eyes against the noise. Beside her Tyson sat in stunned silence for a few moments. His anger was a silent passenger that filled the seat between them. Finally, in a tight voice he reserved for when she really fucked up her dad asked “How much did you have to drink tonight.” she didn’t answer.
“Helena.” he said through clenched teeth “I asked you-”
“I HEARD YOU OK.” she exploded “I don’t know I didn’t keep count, please PLEASE just drive. Take me back to bed bug acres, I give up.” She screwed her palms into her eyes and rubbed them on her filthy shorts. She rested her head against the cool glass and took long, slow breaths. Beside her Tyson split his attention from the oncoming traffic to her. He checked his speed and pushed his boot against the gas pedal watching the needle climb past 100. Beyond the headlights the two of them sped closer to Sunnyview Suites.




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